Signs by English-As-A-Second-Language Writers


An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:

Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.
 In a laundry in Rome:

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Hotel lobby, Bucharest:

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
Cocktail lounge, Norway:

Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
At a Budapest zoo:

Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
 Doctor's office, Rome:

Specialist in women and other diseases.
Hotel, Acapulco:

The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
 Booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:

Cooles and heates: if you want condition of warm air in your room, please control yourself
Car rental brochure, Tokyo:

When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously tootle him with vigour.
 In a Nairobi restaurant:

Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
On the grounds of a private school:

No trespassing without permission.
 On an Athi River highway:

Take notice: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.
On a poster at Kencom:

Are you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can help
 In a City Restaurant:

Open seven days a week and weekends too.
In a cemetery:

Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.
 On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
Hotel brochure, Italy:

This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. In fact, crowdes from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude.
 In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
Hotel, Yugoslavia:

The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
 Hotel, Japan:

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:

Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
 In a Swiss mountain inn:

Special today-no ice-cream.
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:

We take your bags and send them in all directions.
 Hotel elevator, Paris:

Please leave your values at the front desk.
Computer Features | Signs 1 | Signs 2 | Fun Pictures
Assorted Grins | Lost in the Translation | Calvin

Send me mail       Back to the Just For Fun page       Back to my Home Page







Last updated March 22, 2002
This page made possible by eBiz Direction.